A Little Humor

The Irish have a great sense of humor. This is just a little something to end the year with. Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve celebration



Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal and said to the first man he met. "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
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O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.

"Father, 15 years have passed since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all this time," he told the priest.

"I understand, my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"

O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
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Paddy was in New York. He stood at a busy street crossing, patiently waiting to cross. Several times, the cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" but Paddy still stood there, waiting.

After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy approached the cop and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
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An Irish priest was driving down to New York and got stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He said, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water" said the priest.

The trooper said, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looked at the bottle and said, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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